that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
