I think I am morally bankrupt
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
