Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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