were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
