My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
being pregnant is like rehab
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
