Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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