He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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