i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
