If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
