My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize