we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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