Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
