break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
