the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
