Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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