I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
