Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
