he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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