I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
