In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
