so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize