I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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