I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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