We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you inspire me to be a worse person
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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