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i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
