lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He kissed a someone with a penis
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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