3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
