I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
