so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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