just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
