I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
