were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
