They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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