i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
