I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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