nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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