Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
