roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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