the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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