it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
