I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
