thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
