i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
