I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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