omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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