Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
