Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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