I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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