tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
