I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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