dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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