I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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