someone owes me an orgasm
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
