Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize