Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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