I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
