I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
