need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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