What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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