Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
