I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
