we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she pinky promised me she was 18
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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