Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
