he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
