he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
