yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
