After last night, I could never be a politician.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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