he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
