But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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