so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
