I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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