Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
