I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize