Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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