Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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