Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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