Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize