Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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