Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sarcasm needs its own font
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
