My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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