sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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