my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
