Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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