I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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