Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The struggles of a small town man whore
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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