So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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