idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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